Friday, July 17, 2009

I am special...but so are you !

I have spent a lifetime not being special. Which sounds odd considering I hold the womans record for depth. So why do I feel that I am not ‘special’ ? The answer that bounces into my mind is that for me, to be special is to be better than some-one else and in my world that is just not done. You do not elevate yourself above the rest. You wait until you are elevated and then you are shocked and demure and embarrassed. To be special I have to be better than you but I fundamentally know that I am not better than anyone. Nor am I particularly different. So rather than be special my life has been about blending in and being mediocre… excelling but never too much - never enough to make anyone else feel less. So I spend my time finding the things I have in common with you and hiding the things that are different just in case I make you feel less.

But what if being special has nothing to do with being better or worse than anyone ?

This thought fascinates me. What if we are all borne with a different set of gifts which make us the same yet totally unique ? And what if, what if the people who excel at attaining abundance only do so because they are instinctively listening to their uniqueness and playing to that, rather than trying to follow a recipe and fit it?

My thought is that if we were all on the same level we would never change, never learn, never advance. So as a society we have to have the explorers who stand out and dare to be different, dare to do new things in a different way. 100 years ago no-one had ever climbed Everest. Today it has gone from the impossible to merely difficult and dozens summit every year. It took one person who was different and not afraid of that difference to create the possibility for anyone to achieve the impossible. We now all have a bit of Hilary in our consciousness and being.

This whole thoughts began with my search to claim unlimited abundance and a phrase that did not sit with me - that in order to have unlimited abundance it had to be for my higher good coupled with the fact that I would never have it if myself worth did not believe itself deserving.
I have a problem with the former because as a spiritual being I was not borne with limits. I was borne to experience the universe in all its abundance – anything I want is mine for the asking, so how then how can unlimited abundance not be for my higher good ? Unless of course acquiring said unlimited abundance means I never ever follow my path and just ‘retiring’ for life, then I guess it makes sense. Never give me the abundance until I accept who I am and my gifts, the things that make me special.

The second limitation is self esteem, which makes more sense to me because if I do not think I deserve abundance I will make sure I never excel or stand out and so receive it. The problem is, how do you change your self esteem ? Yes, you can read book after book and say affirmation after affirmation and do the therapy thing, but how often does that create a lasting change in your being ?

Which brought me right back to being special and the gifts that make those differences.

What if accepting the fact that you are special and so is everyone around you, is the first step ?
What if you can only claim unlimited abundance when you accept who you are and start to work with what you have that makes you unique ?
What if the very thing that makes you special is a gift and one that you were given so that you can pass it on ? What if (yes I know, a lot of what if’s) but what if there have to be people who stand out and who are fundamentally different because they are the ones that create change ? They are the one’s that create a new potential for anyone and with that new potential what becomes possible transforms ?

What if by being me I open a door for others to transform who they are - to become more empowered, more joyful, more abundant ? What if that was you ? That you had something I desperately needed to see and hear to change who I was so that I could be more me ?

I am left with this one thought. That when I do not accept my gifts, my uniqueness, I deny you the opportunity to expand your awareness and being. There has to be someone to shine the way so that others can follow and as more lights start to shine the differences start to disappear. The very gifts we thought special become nothing more than normal and the cycle starts all over…with a new generation of explorers who bring a new set of gifts that we could not possibly imagine!

Who would you be if you accepted who you were and stopped fighting ? Who ?

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Who Are You ?

I was reading an advert for a conference promoting woman as leaders. Other than being expensive and filled with woman at the top of their game (OK, woman with impressive titles which may mean the same thing), I could not find a single topic that caught my attention. There was nothing personal about any of the topics. Instead of finding out more about the woman and their path to success I was seeing superficial stuff - stuff I could read from pretty much any book. This was supposed to inspire me ? As I read it struck me that this conference was highlighting what society reflects - that who you are is not important but rather where you are! I went from frustrated to depressed.

Surely enabling and empowering woman is not only about transferring skills ? Surely it is about allowing woman to really see who they are and connect with their power to achieve and do (so that become that), rather than titles and corporate ladder and promotion and all that normal so-called good stuff ? Because when you live and breathe your own uniqueness and power you get all the nice stuff and at the same time you love who you are and your life…which translates to happiness and joy (whether or not you make CEO).

Do you know who you are ? Not what, but who ?

Can you list all the things that define you and make you unique ? What are you good at ? What are you not so good at ? And as I type I realise I am asking the wrong questions because all those relate to the past. What is really more important is knowing who you want to be - because that creates action and movement, growth and transformation.

Do you know who you want to become ?
Do you have a vision of that person, how she talks, how she thinks, what she does every day ? Because if you know that you can choose to add a part of that to your day. You can start to practice who you want to be and before you know it you will be that person without thought. The old you will have transformed - be a distant memory.

As a coach, I don’t want to be showing people only how to become a CEO. Yes, realizing your goals and being successful is part of it, but there is something more. Something more substantial and important and valuable. I want to be showing people how to ‘be’ and how to really choose who they want to be!

Can you see the difference ?

Imagine what the world would be like if we were focusing on being the best person we could be ? Imagine what your life would be like if you were focusing on ‘being’ love and kindness, power and strength ?

Monday, July 13, 2009

Practical Coaching - Choosing Your Day

The joy about being a coach (and limitless being in training) is that I have access to the same tools that my clients have.

One of the most mind blowing of these is the concept that we get to choose the context of anything we do. The basis of this is the simple fact that whilst we may have no control over our thoughts and feelings (or even the world per se), we can control our words and when we choose our words we can choose the definition (or context) of anything - from our relationships to our day to the way we are going to experience a meeting or even a person. Key to this concept is the thought that if we do not choose, the universe just serves up our default experiences – so more of the same. By choosing we can override our unconscious experience and create something new.
Sceptical ? Well so was I until I actually tried it. There is something powerful and present in consciously stating that today I am going to have a successful, joyful, abundant day. Today I am going to be love. Today I am going to define my relationship with a difficult colleague in a way where I am patient and listen and nothing is wrong. These definitions sit in your conscious and subconscious mind and when the day starts to fall over they come back, nagging, creating a new awareness which gives you the chance to choose not to succumb to yet another cruddy day…and instead to choose and live your context.

So why not try it for a day (or two or even three)?

Just wake up and choose how you want your day to go, how you want to feel, who you want to be. If you like, give it a percentage (if it feels too intimidating), something that is do’able and streteches you no more than 20%...and then tomorrow practice again… one day you will wake up and that is now your default awesome would that be ?

Friday, July 10, 2009

Why I Can Not Survive Without My Coach

I was chatting about coaching and the benefits there-of and casually mentioned that I get coached, which came as a surprise to the people I was talking to. Perhaps it is because I already have achieved something grand and audacious (my world record) so there is a perception that I already know how to ‘do’. Perhaps not. Why do I need a coach ?

Reason 1 – Accelerated Transformation.

In the year that I have been coaching and coached I have grown/ moved/ changed substantially. The way consciousness coaching works makes it impossible to hide if you really want to create change in your life. You create goals and stands for who you are as well as what you want to achieve and so face your demons, fall down, talk about it next coaching session and re-strategise. It is intense and rewarding and a journey that would have taken years if I had done it on my own.

Reason 2 – Clarity.

Often I have the concept of what it is I want to achieve, but defining it and getting it clear takes ages and many conversations over wine and sushi. With my coach I can really get to what it is I want and really become aware of what is in my way when it comes to thoughts and feelings. After which creating a strategy and set of stands to deal with who it is I want to be and what it is I want to create is much, much simpler.

Reason 3 – Results.

Yes, I do make commitments and they tend to fall by the way side as the world drags me off course with its usual thousand little insignificant but urgent problems. When I am in a coaching cycle I have to report back to my coach on how well I have stuck to my word. She is not judgmental, it is what it is…. But just knowing that someone is listening and watching creates the impulse to complete and get things done.

I know coaching works because I work coaching. Whether it is a goal you want to achieve (better golf game, better sales, that promotion) or whether your goal is more spiritual and personal (better relationship, less fear, better able to deal with conflict) or whether you do not know what it is you need to change, just that you need to change who you are so that you can change what you experience – no matter what it is, coaching can create a tremendous, life shifting change. Limits after all are just choices and I really enjoy shifting mine. So thanks to my coach…who is patient, compassionate and stands for my greatness no matter what!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

The Power of Completion

One of the basic principles in coaching is to finish what you start. Not finishing is a symptom of our modern day lives. We start projects, ideas, books and get distracted, de-motivated and just move onto the next thing.
The problem is that these incompletions live on in our subconscious minds. They hold space, until there is no more space for new, more productive activities.
My week has been dedicated to completing projects I have started. It is (as most things are) a work in progress, but I have made some headway....and the feeling is grand.

What could you finish right now, today ? What is has been on your list to do for so long it is embarassing ?