Wednesday, March 21, 2012
How do you tell the story of your life ? It has taken almost two decades to get to the point where I finally understand how important the words are that we use, especially when we tell the story of our lives. I have spent over 4 decades learning to value other people’s impressions of me and discard my own. No more! I have made the choice to claim my own mind and to do that I need to claim the story of my life! I am not only talking about the past, I am talking about my present as well, about the invisible story I still myself about who I am, especially who I am at work.
How aware are you of the story you are telling about who you are ? How many negatives are in that story ? How many times do you see yourself as the underdog, unable to get mastery ? For today what about retelling that story to yourself and this time make yourself the hero ? For today tell yourself the story of how you are the master of all areas of your life.
What you think about expands! Whilst you can not control the myriad of thoughts that populate your mind you can manage where your attention is and you can actively replace the one’s that are negative with simple statement of who you are. It is not about what you want to be, that implies you are not that right now. It is about bringing the future into this moment, right now. Habits don’t change overnight, so there will be days where you don’t live who you want to be. Those are the days to practice love and forgiveness and strengthen the image you have in your head of who you are!
I am the master of my mind, are you ? Why not ?
Monday, March 19, 2012
If you do one thing today, do this!
Be present with the possibility that you are the creator of your life. Be present to the possibility that how you feel is a choice and how you change your feelings is by directing your thoughts. Open your space and allow yourself to live not from reaction or habit, but from vision. Yes, vision. To live from vision means to ask yourself over and over and over, what do I want ? What do I want to feel ?
Imagine your life if you were the master! Imagine never again being bored or miserable, angry or frustrated. Imagine being able to bring your dreams to reality. You power resides in your imagination. Your power lies in two words, I am! I am powerful! I am the creator of my life! I am free! I am abundance! I am accepts that you already are, ”I want to be” acknowledges that you are not…yet. What if you already are ? What if the only thing that is in your way are the thoughts and beliefs you have about yourself and what if they are wrong ?
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
I know something is not right when simple things just make me explode. There I was, enjoying a cycle with my hounds when an idiot barrels down our residential road trying to avoid the traffic on (he only saves like 400 meters, but hey, that 3 minutes makes all the difference). Now, like most roads in South Africa, our road has no space for either pedestrians or bicycles and the universe in its wisdom chose that exact moment to ensure that where I needed to actually cycle was in the middle of my lane so as to avoid a pedestrian, two dustbins and one driveway. Normally I am a good little cyclist who acknowledges that I should never have dared leave my house and be so arrogant as to actually use the road. The idiot decided hooted (good thing I don’t surprise easily) and then spent a good 5 seconds waving at me in a decidedly unfriendly fashion as he roared past in his rather common German vehicle. It was when I started waving back that I realised that I am intensely angry with the universe right now, or rather with the people who occupy it! I know! Hardly an enlightened approach to the world but I have never claimed enlightenment, only a yearning for the peace and joy that comes with it..
This is just the story that brought it all together for me. There is also the story of a boy whose nose was broken after being sucker punched at school (in front of teachers) and then nothing happened to the attacker. No-one stood up for him, in fact, everyone around him sympathised with the bully (the poor boy, his parents are divorced, it is so hard), totally ignoring the fact that he also has a set of circumstances that he is battling with. There is also the story of a girl who spends her life making sure that the needs of the people around her are met, sacrificing her own in the process and so losing her identity and joy bit by bit. Three stories where we all somehow are expected to be less than the people around us. Three stories that describe how we teach people that they are more important than we are and that that they can treat us like dirt.
When did we learn this ? When did we learn that we are not equal ? When did we learn that to exist in the world we have to help everyone else get what they want and need at the expense of who we are and what we need ? And why does this make me so angry ?
I fundamentally know that the answer to this is not anger and that if I accepted and knew I was equal I would never have to fight for that equality but it still pushes every button when I see unthinking people attempt to overpower and consume the space and energy of others. You are not more important than I am! I am not more important than you are ! The rage wells up - it always has. I find myself fighting against the idea that it is wrong to fight for one’s own space and needs. I hate this unconscious idea that to look after one’s self is selfish and takes away from others. What about my life ? If I don’t look after my life who will ? Never mind that, would I trust anyone out there to always be taking into account my needs ? How would they know what they even were ? I am so tired of people thinking they know what is best for me or what I can or can not do? I am so tired of being stuck in a box that others have made and then in the ultimate moment of humiliation, made me believe in!
So I sit, and just let the feelings swirl, not denying anything, just accepting what is, knowing that a moment of peace will come. I know that I control the thoughts in my mind and so I start a mantra….I am equal! I am equal! I am equal! And I know that this is a message I need to shout out load. I am equal and so are you! I know this is a message I need to teach! This is a message you need to know!
You are equal!
You have a right to the life you dream about!
You have a right to people in your life who love you and respect you and hear you!
You deserve to be here!
You deserve to be listened to!
Start living as if you believed these rights!
Step into your courage and trust the universe! Start speaking your needs and wants. Yes! You may lose some people (you may lose them all) but here is the thing, you will only have lost the people who kept you small and weak. They were the people who used you. They were the people who got their needs met at the expense of your own. You never needed them! They needed you! It is time you found the right people to fill your life. Know this, you are loved! You are not alone! But you need to create space in your life for the new to fill. Let go and let people who want to hear what you need and who expect you to voice those needs into your life!
I will not stop telling you this until you finally know it, live it and breathe it. You are equal! You are equal! You are equal! Feel it so that you can create it with your actions!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Late 2004 I finally reached 221 meters and the official woman’s depth world record. It was one of those pivotal moments, a dream finally achieved yet not completed. Something was missing and I could not rest until I found it! The problem was, I was not sure what I was looking for….which makes searching for an answer almost impossible, all I knew is that something as difficult to create as a world record should have had more of an impact on my life. Instead it felt like the most useless thing I had ever done and it was only when I started to try and take that feeling of complete freedom into the res t of my life that I started to understand what I had done. In diving I had learnt to make my own decisions and accept the consequences. I had learnt to let go control of the outcome, focusing instead on the moment. I had learnt to trust myself and keep learning. I had learnt to master myself.
Now I imagine who I would be if I was able to master myself in every moment of every day, a large ask somedays, but not impossible, certainly not if I break my days up into minutes, then maybe hours and just practice, exactly like I practiced for my world record - one aspect at a time.. until I was able to dive deep without conscious effort, as if it were as natural as walking…breathing, being!
Can you imagine what it would be like to be the master of yourself ? To know that in any moment no-one else is pushing your buttons ? Imagine living a life where it no longer mattered what happened (or did not), where it no matter mattered how many annoying bosses and taxis appeared? Imagine the peace, the control, the joy! Imagine how free you would feel, able to imagine anything, able to do anything …think anything, create anything.
Are you still reading or did you switch off, telling yourself that it is an impossible dream. You were not born like that! You were not borne to be a world record holder, your life is fixed, you are who you are and that is immutable. Lies I tell you. Lies! Who you are, how you behave is not set in stone, it is something that can be changed all you need to do is start to practice who you would need to be to create your dream. How do I know this to be true ? Well, how else could someone who was so petrified of the world that it took three years just to sign up for a diving course become the deepest woman in the world?
What if who you are is not set in stone ? What is you can choose your behaviour and so consciously change your experiences ? What if you are the master of your own life ?