Creating the Right Relationships

How different the world would be, if we gave other people permission to live their lives without requiring them to be bound irrevocably to us. When did we get taught to collect people and hold onto them so tight that we never let go ? Even when it would be best for everyone to go seperate ways... creating space that is now available for someone new. Yet we hold on with some idea about endless loyalty, not understanding that relationships are supposed to be two way streets, things that add value to your life as well as the other person's.

Even more odd, we create relationships with the wrong people in the first place, people who do not think like us and sometimes, do not even see us, it is almost as if we got taught somewhere to grab onto anyone who comes along and then do whatever it takes (sacficing ourselves if necessary) to keep them. Then, after we put in all this work, we wait in frustrated expectation for the person in front of us to do the same thing, repay our sacrifice and start to notice us and fulfill our needs, just like we fulfilled theirs.  When they don't, we don't move on, no, we stay and try harder, slowly loosing ourselves and our belief in people.

What would happen if instead of filling our lives with people we instead carefully selected the people we want to share our lives with and in that selection process, we actually were honest about who we are and what we want (from life and people) ? Yes, we may 'scare' away a lot, but the one's who stay will be worth spending time with.

When last did a course or book create a lasting change ?

The biggest frustration I have had over the last decade or so (which is how long I have been on this journey), has been the fact that no matter what course I do or what book I read, when the novelty has worne off, I still feel trapped and in the same place I was before (admittedly now a tad poorer). I accumulated this wealth of knowledge but I had no cooking clue how to apply it in my day to day life, which meant no clue how to create the change I was so desperately looking for. It was almost as if the world to which I was looking for answers really had no clue  itself. It certainly did not want me to figure that out and it especially did not want me to break away from the herd and find my freedom. 

The further down this path I go the more I realise how trapped in illusion we are and the biggest illusion was the thought that I had to ‘find myself’ before I could change my life. Not that anyone could tell me how to, so I watched what other people were doing... and became fascinated byt the enthusiasm people applied to this single task (not to mention decades of their lives). My problem was that no-one seemed to be actually finding themselves, instead they seemed to be lost in the process - always moving but never getting anywhere. And then, assuming that they actually did finally find ‘themselves’, they were now right back where they started. In fact, all that hard won knowledge was now nothing more than intersting, they still had to do the hard work to create the person they actually want to be.

I started to take a real good look at the books (and courses and guru's) and realised why I was so frustrated - not one gave me a tried and tested practice that I could use to create the change that they expounded with enthusiasm. I was trapped in world of theory when what I wanted was something real. WIthout fail, every book told me how it would be, never how I could get there!

All the experts, all the courses, all the books and not one said, just do it! Stop faffing and go out and create yourself! Stop looking for an answer from everywhere else, the only place you will find your answer is inside yourself. Stop looking for the reasons and events that created you – who you are is who you are, you can not go back and change a thing but you can stop procrastinating and finally accept what is and most importantly accept responsibility for where you are.

Not one said you are here! This is what you created and it does not matter that you created it unconsciously – it is what it is! The only way to change it, is to start CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSING. The only way is forward and that requires you to start Living! Live Consciously, Live Enlightenment, Live Empowered...but LIVE!!!

And so I stopped buying into the illusion. I stopped living Hope’ium and created the practice I call Living Enlightenment. It allows me to let go of the past and create who I want to be in this moment, for myself! Living Enlightenment allows me to Live Empowered, even when the world falls apart and the carefully crafted illusion I have that I have some control evaporates...because with Living Enlightenment I practice being able to choose who I want to be in every and any moment of every and any day.

I may never become a butterfly, but in a world of caterpillars I choose to be the best caterpillar I can be!