Wednesday, September 5, 2012
When is Enough, Enough ?
We all have a sentence that drives us, for some it is, ‘I am not enough!’ I know it is one of mine, a fear that sits there, eating away inside me. What if everyone finds out ? I could not bear the humiliation, the laughter and of course, the rejection. For a while I spent hours trying to find out where and how I started to believe this. Focusing on why, trying to find someone to blame let me off the hook. I didn’t have to dive into that blackhole and see if it was true. Then one day I just stopped and instead asked myself a different question. I replaced why with when, when will I be enough ? After four decades of trying and improving and giving and sacrificing, when would I be enough ? When would it let go of me ? When could I finally stop, breathe and rest ?
When I got a world record, then I would be enough ? Wait, I have one of those!
When I got married, the I would be enough ? Yes, have that checkboxed checked as well.
When I finally made it in the business world, then I would be enough ?
Or maybe if I climbed Everest, deepest and highest, then I would be enough ?
Or maybe…. Maybe if I went deeper, maybe the problem was that I had not gone deep enough, I was only the deepest woman, not the deepest ever, the men were 100 meters below me, then I would be enough ?
What will it take for you to stop and rethink how you are living your life and what is driving you ? When will you be enough ?